Charles E. Burchfield (1893-1967)

objects, such as sunlit tin roofs over stables, & the rough crowds of town loafing places—
Unless I find some way out of this labyrinth of futility I will be destroyed – Over indulgence in the joys of life will destroy these joys & life itself – Happiness becomes a menace. One should limit one’s enjoyment, and not consume all that is set before one.

Aug 2 – 1927.

Bought Beethoven’s Sixth Symphony yesterday. This music fills me with untold delight, and at the same time a sadness that is hard to get at. Some of it comes from the romantic flavor of the piece, a romance of olden times, & of carefree boyhood; at times in the first movement there comes to my inner eye visions of pioneer times in middle America, and a longing comes over me to have been there.
In the gayer spurtive passages even, this music has a dignified spiritual quality that surpasses anything I have ever heard. The genius of Beethoven is unfathomable and it fills me with despair as well as admiration. When I think of my own weaknesses & vices, it is unbelievable that this great man held the same or equivalent vices; and if he did not, & I have, how can I ever hope to be as he is? I or I believe we all (artists) admire great men with the thought in the background that we will some day be able to fill their shoes, & when we realize our unfitness, sadness & despair overwhelms us; Thus as I listen to this inspired music, there goes thru my mind a procession of all the degrading thoughts I harbor, that makes me shudder & revile myself. It is unbelievable – even unforgettable that Beethoven